January 12, 2025, marked my 38th service anniversary. Over those years, I have labored, given my time and energy to this company. Often at the expense of my family. I’m the kind of person who can’t do a job half-heartedly. I like to see things done to perfection. I’m constantly writing and rewriting drafts, updating tables and figures, trying to make my point. My tenacity is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because it drives me to be the best I can be. My work is pretty good in the end. It is a curse because I get so invested in work, I forget that there are more important things in life than work.

On my very first day of employment, January 12, 1987, an elderly engineer named Tom came to the entrance to meet me. He was my first mentor. He led me to my humble desk and gave me my first assignments–mostly meaningless tasks engineers did in the 80’s like pulling microfilm drawings, using Liquid Paper and correction tape to mark updates, and looking up processor specifications from data books. I had no idea what I was getting into. Wondered if I really had what it takes to do engineering work. I barely understood basic electronic theory. I was deeply fearful of being exposed. I was a sophomore in Electrical Engineering, but couldn’t design a circuit to save my life.

Fast forward 38 years. The Lord has blessed me with great success. I was a manager for ten of those years, with a great staff dedicated to doing good work. I made wonderful friendships. Got to travel around the country and around the world. Saw London, Istanbul, Paris, Toulouse, Copenhagen, Sao Paulo, Munich, Warsaw, Ottawa, Edmonton, and a host of other places. I was twice cited for my contributions to business growth and excellence in my field. It’s been quite a run.

Sadly, Tom passed away a few years ago. I was wandering the halls of a deserted building the other day, and happened by Tom’s old office. It was in an unusual spot, nestled away in a back hall, isolated. It was eerie looking in and seeing his empty desk. Someone had obviously gone through and removed the personal effects. There was a heap of empty binders strewn on the floor. An old keyboard, power strips, and a stapler littered the desk. The maroon, standard-issue office chair was empty. In this dreadfully quiet moment, I thought about all the things I had asked Tom, all the important papers he wrote, the processes he established, the approvals he had helped our company obtain. He worked for the company his entire life. Did great things. And now, all that is left are his empty chair and a pile of discarded binders.

This scene impacted me on a deep level. I realized that soon, my desk would look like that. In a very short time, I will move on from this place. All the things I did, all my accomplishments, papers, proposals, charts, graphs–all of it will be ancient history. Most people will have no idea who I was nor what I did. The only memory of the good work I did will be a bunch of empty binders on the floor.

Nobody tells you this when you start your first day of work. Our mind has a funny way of hiding this from us. The wisest man who ever lived said, “I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:14). We don’t realize until it’s too late the harsh, cold reality that all we accomplish in this life is vanity. We strive and strive to “gain the world”, only to find at the end that we forfeit it all (Luke 9:25).

Thankfully, we have a Loving God who understands this. And if you can accept it, this Loving God is not out of reach, some kind of mysterious deity hovering above the world but not really engaged. No, this Loving God made us. He created us with a soul that, like Him, lives forever. He put us here on earth, not to live, die, and be forgotten, but to prepare us for something greater. He wants us to work, for He Himself works. He wants us to be creative, innovative, and industrious, for He is all these things. He loves good work. So there is nothing wrong with doing good work. However, there are things that last, and things that don’t. We should not put all our eggs in the basket of things that don’t.

Recently, I decided to transition to part-time status. Instead of giving my company 40-plus hours a week of my time and energy, I’m downshifting to 28. “One step off the crazy train”, as I like to put it. The crazy train is the idea that, if you want to work on the good projects, you have to invest yourself and do good work. You have to sacrifice time and energy. That qualifies you to work on the good projects, which require you to invest yourself, and so on, and so on. I’ve been on the crazy train for 38 years. It’s time to step off.

From here on out, I want to give my time and energy to things that last, things that will retain value for eternity, not just 30 or 40 years. Since God made the human soul eternal, like His, I think investing in the souls of people makes good sense. Helping people’s souls is work that lasts. I’ve been trying to do that on the side for these 38 years. I gave whatever was left of my energy after giving most of it to the company. Now it’s time to give more where it counts.

Soon I hope to be completely off the crazy train. I’ll just be on the platform, waving happily at all those passengers who are onboard, looking at me as they go by. Some will be perplexed, wondering why I am so happy to be unemployed, out of touch with the awesome work at hand. Some will be mournful, wishing they were standing there with me. Most will be oblivious, thinking about the presentation they have to give in an hour.

I won’t really miss that life. It defined me for so long. However, I’m quite fearful of this new life I’m taking on. I’m not really qualified to do much else, from the world’s perspective. I was recognized at my company, honored, esteemed, respected. Outside of work, I’m exposed. I have no proven skills, no experience, and no peers who can testify of my merits. On one hand, that’s frightening, but on the other, it’s invigorating. No longer can I lean on what I know, just show up and do what I do. I am more in the Hand of my Loving God than ever. I look forward to the places He leads me and the people He introduces to me. I look forward to this new work He has called me to do.