Here’s a little pandemic satire for those, like me, are tired of hearing about the coronavirus. I hope it brightens your day a little.
Good morning, coronavirus
How are you today?
I see you’re on TV again
Lead story on GMA
People are afraid of you
The media loves it so
Their ratings rising by the minute
Scared millions trust their shows
Pandemic is what they call you now
like AIDS and the Swine Flu
You’d think the bloody sky is falling
The panic has ensued
You’ve made my life a chaotic mess
Just speaking for myself
I hate to go to Wal Mart now —
no TP on the shelf
You cancelled flights from Europe
you postponed the NBA
My college payment was way too high
for class to go away
Look what you did to the NCAA
no cheerleaders or bands
and how do you expect me to enjoy
March Madness with no fans?
We’ve survived some plagues like you before
why should I come unglued?
Don’t tell me now to cancel trips
there’s stuff I want to do
I’ll wash my hands, sneeze into shirt
but if you plan to stay
I’ll mock your sorry virus butt
and work from home today
If by chance I catch your bug
you can laugh into my face
I’ll quarantine myself two weeks,
eat chocolate, and watch some Greys.